I've never known of updating the version of PHP to dlete any posts, however the forums maybe down when updating is being done, but it will be for as short time as possible and it's usually planned downtime and Raulken usually posts when he's going to do it.
No you don't have to pay but it is not your decision to update the version it is Raulkens and he will do it when he wants too.
For the second question go to the Guides and Tutorials folder (link is in my signature) and read the guide of how to make private forums.